سيرة
Host Name: Nigel Honeybone... Alter Ego: Graham Garfield Barnard (producer).
"Nigel Honeybone's stage debut was as Hamlet's dead father, portraying him as a tall posh skeleton. This triumph was followed in Richard III, as the remains of a young prince which he interpreted as a tall posh skeleton. He began attracting starring roles. Henry VIII was scaled down to suit Honeybone's very personalised view of this famous king. Honeybone suggested that perhaps he really was quite skeletal, quite tall, and quite posh. MacBeth, Shylock and Othello followed, all played as tall, skeletal and posh, respectively. Considering his reputation for playing tall English skeletons, many believed that the real Honeybone inside to be something very different, like a squat hunchback perhaps. Interestingly enough, Honeybone did once play a squat hunchback, but it was as a tall posh skeleton. But he was propelled into the film world when, in Psycho (1960), he wore women's clothing for the very first time. The seed of an idea was planted, and after working with director Ed Wood for five years he realised the unlimited possibilities of tall posh skeletons who dressed in women's clothing. He went on to wear women's clothing in thirteen major motion pictures, including the Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) and Star Wars (1977), heartbreaking as the remains of Aunt Beru. With the onslaught of special effects came the demise of real actors in these sorts of roles. After modelling for CGI skeletons in Total Recall (1990) and Toys (1992), the only possible step forward for a tall posh skeleton was television, imparting his knowledge and expertise of the arts. Nigel Honeybone is currently signed to star in a new series for community television, presenting the finest examples of B-grade horror. 'The Schlocky Horror Picture Show' will be seen on Friday nights at 10.30pm and repeated at 2am Sunday mornings." Fantales candy wrapper (circa 2007).
Deadly Ernest Honeybone (1856 to 1900) Playwright whose works include 'The Importance Of Being Me' and 'Look Back In Deadly Ernest'.
Sir Charles Honeybone (1812 to 1870) Author of 'Bleak House Of Horror', 'David Boneyard' and 'A Tale Of Two Tombs'.
Lord Pullover 'Boney' Honeybone (1800 to 1900) Transferred to the Heavy Brigade during a well-known cavalry charge at Balaclava.
Sir Jack 'I'm All Right' Honeybone (1750 to 1830) Fought for Napoleon and Wellington at Waterloo, in that order.
Edward 'Gibbon' Honeybone (1737 to 1794) Wrote a twenty-six part fictional saga of the Roman Empire entitled 'I, Honeybone' selling absolutely no copies.
Sir Christopher Honeybone (1600 to 1700) Started the Great Fire of London, then earned fame and fortune rebuilding the city.
William 'Bacon-Bits' Honeybone (1564 to 1616) Copywriter who copied the writings of his contemporaries under his own name and lived uninvited with the Royal Family for many months before discovery.
Sir Walter Honeybone (1560 to 1650) Courtier and seadog who used Queen Elizabeth's cloak to keep his feet from sinking into the mud.
Sir Jasper 'Bones' Honeybone (1300 to 1390) Minister of Health during the Black Death, and lived a very long time.
Lady Godawful Honeybone (1040 to 1080) Lady playwright who rode naked to the Coventry Hippodrome for her play 'Death A Pale Horse Rides'.
Bishop Odour Honeybone (999 to 1077) Known as 'The Warrior Priest' and 'The Pope's Friend', he failed to turn up at the Battle of Hastings due to sinking while taking a swim. He coined the phrase "That's one in the eye for Harold."
Egbert Honeybone (750 to 806) Author of the well-known Anglo-Saxon musical comedy 'Meat Offa The Bone'.
