بیوگرافی
An LA-based screenwriter, Costello was born at an early age after being conceived on a South Side Chicago juke joint pool table and being born 2 hours later 'cause Ma wanted to get back to skullin' her chard and he couldn't wait to get out and start kickin' Earthly ass. After multiple stints in the sneezer by 17 years old, and being one of the best high school athletes in the world, Costello earned a full ride to MIT to study Communications and lead the elite learning institution to 4 national championships in multiple heavy hitting, uber masculine athletics. He graduated MIT with the lowest GPA ever with a 0.08 because he never left the bar except to win championships but was still voted Valedictorian by his nerd-ass peers because he showed em how to cure sack cancer but eschewed the credit leaving the bespectacled goof balls to market the life saving serum on every TV commercial on every TV show and Youtube ad nearly driving society to the brink. Costello was then recruited as a NOC by the CIA to end the war in Ukraine by sneaking into the Kremlin to give Putin a shirtless noogie and a stern talking to. The Nobel Peace Prize would follow, presented by prize founder Mark Twain himself, who like JFK Jr, was - and still is - alive and cruising canals. Costello would later find love by embarking on a whirlwind romance with British Sport Illustrated bikini model Penny Lane after meeting under a Venezuelan waterfall while both were skinny dipping. She was later quoted as saying, "He had the most muscular back I'd ever seen, and his hog, after it waved at me like an inflatable tube man, was the most perfect hog I'd ever seen and I knew then it was only meant for me." He then recited a poem that he made up on the spot, "My beef thief, Penny. The truth is life with you is utterly insane, uncertain and unhinged. Yet if life with you is insane, I care not for sweet sanity." She fainted... into his tan, tatted, nude 42" biceps. He tongued her awake and they were married 3 minutes later by a Peeping Tom waterfall shaman named Swanson Diburglio who only accepted Venmo, CashApp and live crickets. They would go to make 14 children - the perfect combo of 7 boys and 7 girls - who all went pro, because as Costello later said, "I don't produce pussies." Now, after picking up and mastering the craft of screenwriting, Costello has collected over 200 Oscars for his wickedly witty whiplash language, beautifully gross, but tear jerking, mind and reality bending films that experts, critics, and tiktok'ers alike still question whether are perfectly scripted films or gorilla-style documentaries due to his penchant for truth, justice and the real real as he navigates art, commerce and yep - still, and always, kickin' ass.
His debut non-fiction novel, "Bum," has been translated into 900 languages and sold over 23 million copies globally. "Bum" is about a newly homeless man at an existential crossroads of whether to hop off the crazy train he's being dragged behind, sober up and get back to society or say fuck it all and go full bore hobo. In short, it's Costello's memoir from a many-year spell of particular darkness and chaos, or as he would later term it, "That was a hell of a weekend." The New York Times review of the masterpiece was a simple but astonished one maxim reaction: "Dooood..."
His most recent writing effort is the Palm d'Or winning short film "dirtballs," which was directed by Kevin Berlandi and starring the stand out comic who couldn't remember his fuggin' lines Brent Morin.
Costello and Penny split their time between Hollywood, London, the Moon and Iran - where they dodge bombs and just try to fit in. The Good Lord hasn't ordered his steps yet, but as the midnight train chugs his way he'll always be grateful for the life he's lived because... if life was fair... Costello shoulda been dead a long time ago.
Chinga La Migra!
